See Rotate Mack! thread under technical topics. Probably has something to do with the speed of the Earth's molten inner core. Just kidding, but way weird.

Someone landed on my blog by Googling "tana butler statue."

That's it! Someone from the Bronx was tryin' ta look me up. Whew.

I saw Deep Roy, who played all of the Oompa Loompas in the recent Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, yesterday in my sister's apartment building. He was just over 4 feet tall.

My friend took a cab back to his place from Union Station, got home, tried to make a phone call--no cell phone.

He came over to my house to use my cell phone (no one has a simple land line any more, do they ) to start calling his phone, and then calling cab companies, in an attempt to find his Nokia.

For a long time no one answers his phone, so I loan him my phone for the night and he goes home to continue making phone calls.

Finally, someone answers.

Someone: "Hello?"
My Friend: "Who's this?"
Someone: "Who's this?"
My Friend: "This is my phone."
Someone: "Oh sorry, man. I found it at the gas station."
My Friend: "You wanna' bring it over to my house? I'll give you $20."
Someone: "Sure. It'll take me a few minutes. I'm on my bike."

My friend gives Someone his address and hangs up. About 10 minutes later, Someone shows up at my friends' door and hands him his phone, receiving $20.

Someone: "Hey man, you mind if I use your phone? I want to get a rock."

a rock?

doesnt it seem odd that someone that would smoke crack would be honest enough to return a cell phone?

that is irony

why not order the special pizza hut combo and share it with Nero and her boyfriend for giving you 20 bucks.

maybe ask pizza hut to shake a little crack on top. ok, maybe not.

Here in NYC it is hot and incredibly,unbelievably muggy. So of course when I was out earlier I saw several women wearing boots. And I don't mean this summer's fashion for cowboy boots worn with a short skirt. I'm talking knee-high leather boots. Some with trousers tucked into them.

What do these things have in common?

geisha
manresa on the mississippi
2121067669876
tiny ufos
bad timing in relationships
marabel morgan
braless women in t shirts
dr laura schlessinger nude photos
beurre noisette
flat bellied blondes
scatalogical joke party
naked pictures of dr. laura
pipeline surf medley junior brown
dangers of midol
hockey sport lunchboxes
johnny copeland
lyrics for camel walk by southern culture on the skids
dr laura naked

----------------------

Those are terms used at search engines that drove traffic to my website.

I have no earthly idea what 2121067669876 is. Bourdain's cell phone number?

That people are interested to search for photos of a nekkid Dr. Laura is SURREAL! More surreal would be if there actually WERE some.

I'm happy to say I missed that story!

In some places there really are aligators living in the sewers!

According to IMDB.com, Sheryl Crow and Lance Armstrong are engaged. She is 43 and he is about to turn 34 next week. Her first marriage, his second.

I hope he likes Macintosh computers.

Why is that surreal?

While drinking coffee this morning, I noticed both cats were staring into the glass doors of the fireplace, in which they've never shown any interest. I glanced inside and saw nothing, but a few minutes later I heard a flutter - it was a young bird, a starling, I think. I shut the cats up in the bedroom and opened the fireplace doors, and the bird flew out. It flapped all over the house until I managed to corner it, pick it up, and take it outside.

When I let Mack and Lucy out they complained loudly, and zipped back to the fireplace to wait for the next one...

Just heard this bit of conversation between the Curator in Charge of my department, and the nincompoop who is being allowed to "co-curate" our upcoming exhibition:

(regarding some jewelry being installed)
Boss: "Did (lender of object) say these earrings were Mali or Masai? I think she said they were Masai."
Nincompoop: "Oh no, she said they were African."

Could also be posted in "Reasons to be Cheerful" (funniest thing I've heard all week); or "I love my job/I hate my job" (yes, I work with a flock of turkeys).

I had lunch today at an Irish bar called Nathan Hale's that just opened in a space previously occupied by the restaurant U.K. New York. O the irony of it all.

As we come up to the elections in New York, I am still struggling with the irony of "No taxation with representation."

Will there still be Dixie? Will there stilll be Jax?

El Jefe: Mama, I want to add a pork chop entrée to the menu tonight.
Me: [typing] Okay, chuletas, right?
El Jefe: Yeah. Chuletas con pepian.
Me: Pork chops with pumpkin seed sauce...
EJ: It's just one chop.
Me: Chuleta, then. Isn't it pipián?
EJ: No, I'm sure it's pepian.
Me: Well, Diana Kennedy says it's pipián.
EJ: Okay.
Me: And should it be EN rather than CON?
EJ: No, it's con.
Me: [googling] Here's a mention of the dish as pipian de puerco. Oh, wait, this is your recipe. Will you call your mother, please?

...

EJ: She says it's chuleta en pipián.
Me: I'm glad one of us speaks Spanish.

Cathy, mi corazon--

Is peurco anything like puerco? I ask only because my Spanish is weak. I mean I hardly know the difference between pero, perro, and puerro.

Maurice, dollink, ¡muchas gracias!

Surreal. Someone tried to post a comment on my blog:

Walking through Central Park on Sunday, on a path near the turtle pond, south of the Great Lawn, we came upon an artist painting the scene. He was at the early point of drawing the elements on the canvas, which, we saw from a distance, was round. Getting closer, we saw that this guy was using razor pointed pens to apply an amazing level of detail - blades of grass, individual leaves on trees - to his canvas.

Now, you can walk in Central Park for the rest of your life and never see a painter at work doing something worth a second look, but this was exceptional and I was prepared to buy it exactly as it was. I approached the guy, said hello, said how much I liked his work and asked, did he sell his pictures. He was Japanese. He turned to me and said, "No sell. Have fun. Make party. Drink. Thank you very much." Then he turned back to his work.

Somewhere, there's an apartment with some amazing pictures that few have seen.

Is there a collective noun for men in dark suits with ear-pieces and guns? Because there are about 50 of them milling around outside my office.

Secret-servicers