Just a block from our apartment, a parked van with a banner saying "Order of Malta American Association".

I think they're after me.

And don't forget - just because you're paranoid, doesn't mean they're not out to get you.

The not-so-smart side of my family perished in a chewing-gum-and-walking accident.

Walking home last night in freezing,driving rain I see around a hundred people sitting lined up outside of Best Buy waiting for the new x-box to go on sale. A few of the more enterprising had folding chairs and tarps.

Just picked up a voicemail message from Tiki Barber reminding me of the Footlocker Special Thanksgiving Holiday Event this weekend. Looks like the telemarketers have infiltrated the office phones.

Having lunch today with my family in a Spanish restaurant in central London. A very large party are gathering as we arrive, we assume maybe a wedding or something - a mix of english and Spanhish speaking people. A bit later two young-ish and Spanish looking guys arrive, smart suits, lots of hair gel, a bit of style - everyone claps and sits down to eat. Assume its the groom and best man or something. No sign of a bride though. As we are leaving I ask the waiter what the party is - '2 toreadors are visiting and it is a party for them'!!! Couldn't get much more Spanish, and they really did look the part. Awesome.

of all the airports in the NYC area, and all the pre-Thanksgiving travelers, Orik, Sivan and I arrived at Newark at the same time last Wednesday. I didn't even have to time to say hello before the massive crowds separated us, but he just confirmed it was them. It's a small world, no?

Last Christmas, Eyebrows and I ran right into the scamhis, on the same line, no less - at Newark airport.

The splinter in my foot turned out to be a cat hair.

I know Maine Coons are tough, but.....wooden fur?

I can't tell you how refreshing it is to see a napping on-duty security guard.

At the bar last night I ran into my boyfriend's-sister's-ex-boyfriend-from-high-school, whose best friend I used to date (also in high school). Can't tell you how weird it is to see a guy you double-dated to the prom with at an out-of-the-way bar in a big city

A real site selling fake watches

I had some airport sightings of the celebrity kind at LAX on the Sunday after thanksgiving, last weekend.

As I was in the security line, a guard ushered Dustin Hoffman and his family into the employees line so he could get through faster. He is even shorter than I thought. He hung out with his daughter for a long while at the gate for the Boston flight (I assume she goes to college there) and then she eventually boarded.

On my way to the gate, Colin Farrell and a woman were walking next to me. He didn't look so good and his hair was dyed a wierd orangish color.

Neither of them was on my flight to my knowledge.

But as I waited for the 1 subway going downtown from Penn Station on my way home from Newark airport, Seth Meyers from SNL was standing next to me listening to his iPod. He looked like he was trying not to be recognized, which made me laugh as he isn't that famous.

So apparently celebrities enjoy spending their Sunday mornings at the American Airlines terminal at LAX. Who knew?

This from a teen anti-drug site:

I get home last night and as I'm going into my office and turning the light on, I step on something, not a hairball, far bigger. Turns out that my tiny old cat has killed a Rat half as big as she is and left it for me as a gift. She was so proud. That's why her nickname is Sid, as in Sid Vicious.

The mouthfulsfood.com site.

On the one hand; the conversation re Michelin between Cabby and his Lordship.

On the othe,r a discussion of the word "ho'".

ya gotta luv it.

More too true than surreal:

"Finally, The Mirror (UK tabloid) sent reporter Jenny Johnston to Aberdeen to test the claim, made in the British Journal of Psychiatry, that Aberdeen is the nation's most miserable city, where up to 20% of the residents suffer from seasonal affective disorder (SAD). One of the people she approached was a grey-coated man waiting for a bus. Did he think, she asked, that Aberdeen deserved its title as the most miserable place on earth? "Fuck off," he replied."

Is it twinned with St Paul, Minnesota by any chance?

[Pan-Fried Walleye Fillet. . . . . . . . . . . . . .19.95
Dusted with Almond Flour and served with Pecan
Frangelico Butter Sauce]

I was in the critical care unit at Genesys Hospital and my second cousin's former housekeeper's daughter's brother-in-law was there at the same time. We didn't recognize one another. I thought he was mongo. Y'know. Because of the avatar.

Sign of the times, and of past times too I guess?

Yesterday the Supreme Court ruled that a person's Social Security benefits can be siezed to pay off old student loans.

That ought to be a real boon to the Treasury in coming years!

SB (in the clear)

I just tried looking up "Hearth" in the phone directory of my company.

Maurice, my darling! You're back!!!

but . . . can we be sure you are not a member of the g00ns*? Suspiciously coincidental timing of absence and return.



*If you don't get the reference . . . don't ask!

Hugh Hefner turns 80: his three girlfriends' age doesn't add up to his.

The scene: A very crowded cross-town bus. A toddler is crying hysterically.

Two older women are sitting side-by-side commenting about how annoying the crying is and how they wish the nanny would shut the kid up. One of them is a nun.

That might explain the funky royal blue habit.

My father always said that playing the violin would keep me out of drugs and prostitution, but apparently not bank robbery.

In a television ad for Lunesta (a sleep medication), one of the "side effects" may include drowsiness.

Oh, o-k-a-a-a-a-a-ay.

http://www.southcoasttoday.com/daily/12-05...05/a09lo650.htm

Be extra careful when ordering from the "Mao's home cooking" menu at Grand Sichuan.

Millions would agree, if they could.

you've got mail, and maybe gonorrhea