in Avon Co. the local wine store is...
Beaver Liquors
Full Version: The surrealism of everyday life
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I know someone who, at this very minute, is running to get his car for the trip to Avon. 
Sheesh. Still, subtler than hiring someone to kneecap them.
The French, they are so classy, no?
Big sanitation trucks hosed down a Village street with water to make believe it was raining and everything was wet for a film crew. Wasted effort. The actors appeared in a taxi, and at that moment it really started to rain heavily.
| QUOTE (Suzanne F @ Mar 2 2006, 10:16 AM) |
| The French, they are so classy, no? |
Almost as classy as Texans.
That's not news. We always refer to our pets using their "military ranks including sergeant major, first, second, third and fourth lieutenant".
Are the handlers sharing the rooms with the dogs, or is it just a whole hotel floor full of dogs? How is the housekeeping staff handling this? Do the dogs sleep on the beds?
Gives a whole different meaning to Big Hound. Not necessarily any more savory.
are they going to let the dogs out to sample the local nightlife? i hear there are some fine indian bitches.
| QUOTE (yvonne johnson @ Mar 2 2006, 12:03 PM) |
| That's not news. We always refer to our pets using their "military ranks including sergeant major, first, second, third and fourth lieutenant". |
Us, too: Major Flirt and Captain Underpants
| QUOTE (NeroW @ Mar 2 2006, 01:08 PM) |
| Are the handlers sharing the rooms with the dogs, or is it just a whole hotel floor full of dogs? How is the housekeeping staff handling this? Do the dogs sleep on the beds? |
in keeping with the traditions of indian hospitality the sheraton has an entire floor for dogs that is staffed by other dogs. the walls of the suites are intricately carved with erotic, yet sacred sculptures of dogs conjoined (though only in one position) and only doggy porn plays on the adult channels on the tv. there is no truth to the rumour, however, that the hotel maintains a harem of cats for the dogs' kinky pleasures. it is possible, however, that the american secret service travels with their own bestial bestiary.
| QUOTE (mongo_jones @ Mar 2 2006, 12:41 PM) |
| yet sacred sculptures of dogs conjoined (though only in one position) |
Bwah!
Damn you, you almost make me wake up Logan.
Vampire Killing Kit (circa 1850-1890) available on eBay!
| QUOTE (guajolote @ Mar 2 2006, 08:22 PM) |
| are they going to let the dogs out to sample the local nightlife? i hear there are some fine indian bitches. |
| QUOTE (Carolyn Tillie @ Mar 2 2006, 03:44 PM) |
| Vampire Killing Kit (circa 1850-1890) available on eBay! |
There was one of these at the entrance of the top floor of the Mercer Museum in Doylestown, PA. Their kit also included a mirror (to properly identify vampire in questions) and a small dried out bunch of garlic. Do people really buy that kind of stuff on eBay? the potential for fraud seems really high.
But I found this sentence amusing.
| QUOTE |
| Do not drink or taste the recipients in the bottles. |
| QUOTE |
| AMID all the sweatshirts and jeans at the Starbucks on Broadway near 115th Street the other day, it was not hard to pick out Genevieve Yang, the Columbia sophomore who runs the Anachronistic Gentleman Rental Service, a genteel escort service that provides Old World arm candy to ladies of romantic disposition. Miss Genevieve, as Ms. Yang prefers to be known, was the one wearing the black satin corset over her blouse, along with a flowing skirt and a necklace adorned with a cascade of amber ornaments. She was the one discoursing with impeccable enunciation about elevating the courtship experiences of her clients, who have been calling since just before Valentine's Day, when The Columbia Daily Spectator ran an article about her service. "People need a license to be romantic and silly and extravagant, and walk on the backs of benches instead of sitting on them," the waifish Miss Genevieve explained, adding that a "rental" of any of her more than 20 anachronistic gentlemen was in fact free. A double major in biology and math, she says her mission is to "promote the elegant styles of the past." As she spoke, Miss Genevieve was joined by Gregoire Etrillard, a Columbia law student who claims to have been born in a stable at Versailles. Dashingly attired in a tweed cap and a yellow silk Hermès tie, Mr. Etrillard listened as Miss Genevieve gave him advice for an imminent date with a client. "You could try kissing her on the wrist," she suggested. Mr. Etrillard then sallied forth to meet his young lady at Le Monde, a French restaurant nearby. En route, he ran his fingers through the rakish sweep of brown hair hanging over his forehead, saying, "This fringe is also very French and very romantic." At the door of the restaurant, he greeted his client, a Barnard freshman named Erin Axelrod, with a kiss on the hand as delicate as the brush of a butterfly's wing. "That," Ms. Axelrod said with a grin, "is what I came for." After escorting her to a secluded table, Mr. Etrillard casually placed a book of Wordsworth poems beside her bag and ordered merlot. He complimented her earrings, mentioned the fringe of his hair again and talked about snooker. Then he went in for the kill, in a gentlemanly way, of course. "I know a place in Paris," he began, telling of a restaurant where, late at night, after the Metro stops running, you can slip out a back door and walk the train tracks onto a bridge, from which you can gaze upon the Eiffel Tower. "I would bring you there," he concluded. "Wow, that's very romantic," Ms. Axelrod said, noting that Mr. Etrillard's vision compared favorably with typical college courtship rituals. "You go to a frat party, make out with some random guy, and then maybe he calls you and maybe he doesn't." |
Am I wrong, or does this sound very Wilf-y?
And Maurice-y? And Gordo-y? 
| QUOTE (lovelynugget @ Mar 6 2006, 11:14 AM) | ||
Am I wrong, or does this sound very Wilf-y? And Maurice-y? And Gordo-y? |
and that's what makes it so tough for the rest of us
Geez, wish this service had been around when I was at Barnard, years ago.........Yet another reason to encourage my daughter to transfer there?
Talking with my dear friend today about another friend's son, who's waiting to hear about his grad school applications.
Friend: He really wants to go to Oxford, and he applied to 2 other schools...Trinity? I think? Is that the one in Ireland?
Me: Yes, in Dublin. And then he applied to the University of Edinburgh, in Scotland.
Friend: Wait, I thought Trinity was in Ireland?
Me: It is. Dublin.
Friend: And there was one other...
Me: University of Edinburgh.
Friend: Where's that?
Me. Scotland.
Friend: He really wants to go to Oxford, and he applied to 2 other schools...Trinity? I think? Is that the one in Ireland?
Me: Yes, in Dublin. And then he applied to the University of Edinburgh, in Scotland.
Friend: Wait, I thought Trinity was in Ireland?
Me: It is. Dublin.
Friend: And there was one other...
Me: University of Edinburgh.
Friend: Where's that?
Me. Scotland.
the first preview before "night watch" today was for the newest nicole holofcener movie (which looks very good).
Oh, goody. Loved "Walking and Talking" and then the other "This and That" one.
He's just crushin' on Jennifer Anniston.
| QUOTE (Liza @ Mar 9 2006, 05:01 AM) |
| Oh, goody. Loved "Walking and Talking" and then the other "This and That" one. |
"lovely and amazing".
the new one breaks with her naming convention and is called "friends with money". luckily, it does not break with her convention of casting catherine keener.
The young man doing a full-on robot imitation at the coffee shop this morning complete with jerky movements and sound effects.
I swear, that guy was in a furniture store on the upper west side a couple of weeks ago. 
i saw a dead chicken, feathers and everything, but without a head, on the beach. where did the head go?
| QUOTE (guajolote @ Mar 10 2006, 01:46 PM) |
| i saw a dead chicken, feathers and everything, but without a head, on the beach. where did the head go? |
| QUOTE (guajolote @ Mar 10 2006, 03:46 PM) |
| i saw a dead chicken, feathers and everything, but without a head, on the beach. where did the head go? |
In Central Park today, people in short sleeves sitting next to piles of still-unmelted snow.
listening to Showboat on my iPod on the subway and having that Motown-esque singing group who go from car to car also singing so that I could kind of hear both at the same time.
edit: if it wasn't clear, the Motown group was singing My Girl
edit: if it wasn't clear, the Motown group was singing My Girl
| QUOTE (lovelynugget @ Mar 4 2006, 02:14 PM) | ||
Am I wrong, or does this sound very Wilf-y? And Maurice-y? And Gordo-y? |
I'm flattered to be in such august company, of course, but I have an eight dollar haircut and wear tatty clothes from the Goodwill Store.
Within the space of three sentences a reporter for This American Life stating that habeus corpus has its origins in Magna Carta and that it is one of the reasons Americans fought the revolutionary war.
One more reason to hate TAL.
One more reason to hate TAL.
| QUOTE (g.johnson @ Mar 12 2006, 05:22 PM) |
| Within the space of three sentences a reporter for This American Life stating that habeus corpus has its origins in Magna Carta and that it is one of the reasons Americans fought the revolutionary war. One more reason to hate TAL. |
IIRC, He also made it sound like habeas corpus meant to produce a dead body as evidence. That was really bizarre. But I did enjoy (if that's the right word for it) the interview with the satire magazine guy who ended up in Gitmo. (I heard this show a couple of weeks ago, for some reason. I think I am remembering this correctly(??)
Okay, talk about surreal -- just turned on the radio and that exact sentence was playing. I heard it wrong last time, he at least got that part right. I think I was driving somewhere when I heard it the first time so I wasn't paying much attention.
Speaking of things on the radio...S. recently inherited an X-box and has started playing shoot-em-up games which he keeps muted while listening to WQXR instead. Halo with a soundtrack of QXR's mix of "classical hits" is indeed surreal.
It's snowing here in Las Vegas for the third time in three days!
| QUOTE (fantasty @ Mar 12 2006, 05:57 PM) |
| Speaking of things on the radio...S. recently inherited an X-box and has started playing shoot-em-up games which he keeps muted while listening to WQXR instead. Halo with a soundtrack of QXR's mix of "classical hits" is indeed surreal. |
sounds about right to me. alas, i have not completed the goals that would have allowed me to reward myself with "halo 2". but he's going to have a tough time with "halo" if he can't hear cortana.
i was driving up the hutchinson river parkway last week when a pickup truck a few cars ahead of me lost its load.
and as i went by, i drove through a flurry of styrofoam packing peanuts!
and as i went by, i drove through a flurry of styrofoam packing peanuts!
"Do you want to make a poopie?"
"No. I want to make a puppy".
"No. I want to make a puppy".
| QUOTE (Liza @ Mar 13 2006, 12:20 PM) |
| "Do you want to make a poopie?" |
i'm calling child services.
| QUOTE (mongo_jones @ Mar 11 2006, 05:23 PM) | ||
i'm calling child services. |
You're assuming a child was involved.
in that case, pictures?
So, every three or four years or so, I will be somewhere (often traveling) and run into someone from an entirely different part of my life. Most memorable example: being at San Francisco airport in 1990 or so and looking up to see the smiling eyes of someone who remains one of the great loves of my life...2500 miles away from where we knew each other (and where he lives) in Nashville. I'd say it's happened a dozen times or so since I was in my twenties.
On Friday, strolling with my Readerville friend, I mentioned this phenomenon. I told her I was never surprised when it happened. (I neglected to tell her that it always happens within a couple of weeks of me mentioning that this kind of thing happens with some regularity.
On Friday night, we were at Avec restaurant in Chicago. I was seated nearest the door, facing the door. In walked an Asian woman, and I knew I knew her. Told the friend, "I know I know that woman." Took about ten minutes of intense concentration and Rolodex-shuffling through memories to come up with impressions: "I met her at a farm dinner. ...can't remember if she was happy or not...maybe I should avoid her, maybe she was at one of the ones where something went wrong..."
Ten minutes after that, it occurred to me who she was: Olivia Wu—a food writer and cooking teacher for the San Francisco Chronicle. She'd volunteered in the kitchen at the dinner where Craig Stoll of Delfina as guest chef. Star Route Farm, Bolinas.
So I sent two notes to the table:
1) "Are you Olivia Wu?" (I was certain she was, because I am so rarely wrong about faces, but I couldn't bear if she wasn't, and thought that I thought all Asian women look the same. Olivia Wu looks like herself, and I know it. She's got a great haircut, and her own style.)
2) "I photographed you at a farm dinner in Bolinas" (with details).
I saw her nod to the first question to the waiter, with puzzlement in her eyes...probably not that many San Francisco food writers get recognized in their own hometown, much less halfway across the country.
So I went to talk to her. Very fun. Got to catch up a little and tell her about the farm blogging stuff. She was very sweet and, I think, more than a little amazed. (Me, too, but not as much because, hey, I'd called it earlier in the day.)
On Friday, strolling with my Readerville friend, I mentioned this phenomenon. I told her I was never surprised when it happened. (I neglected to tell her that it always happens within a couple of weeks of me mentioning that this kind of thing happens with some regularity.
On Friday night, we were at Avec restaurant in Chicago. I was seated nearest the door, facing the door. In walked an Asian woman, and I knew I knew her. Told the friend, "I know I know that woman." Took about ten minutes of intense concentration and Rolodex-shuffling through memories to come up with impressions: "I met her at a farm dinner. ...can't remember if she was happy or not...maybe I should avoid her, maybe she was at one of the ones where something went wrong..."
Ten minutes after that, it occurred to me who she was: Olivia Wu—a food writer and cooking teacher for the San Francisco Chronicle. She'd volunteered in the kitchen at the dinner where Craig Stoll of Delfina as guest chef. Star Route Farm, Bolinas.
So I sent two notes to the table:
1) "Are you Olivia Wu?" (I was certain she was, because I am so rarely wrong about faces, but I couldn't bear if she wasn't, and thought that I thought all Asian women look the same. Olivia Wu looks like herself, and I know it. She's got a great haircut, and her own style.)
2) "I photographed you at a farm dinner in Bolinas" (with details).
I saw her nod to the first question to the waiter, with puzzlement in her eyes...probably not that many San Francisco food writers get recognized in their own hometown, much less halfway across the country.
So I went to talk to her. Very fun. Got to catch up a little and tell her about the farm blogging stuff. She was very sweet and, I think, more than a little amazed. (Me, too, but not as much because, hey, I'd called it earlier in the day.)
Another passion of mine (other than eating and cooking) is the automobile. Specifically, older models of Mercedes interest me. I participate in two forums about Mercedes Benz. I find them a great escape from the quotidian grind...except when the surrealism of everyday life injects itself where you least expect it. Case in point, ALUEB, an active member of the Mercedes Benz USA Owners forum (do I sound like Rod Serling?) Weaving through a thread about proper techniques for cleaning the paintwork on a car before polishing and waxing, I come across this glimpse into another man's journey through the Twilight Zone:
| QUOTE |
| you probably know I have degenerative back diesease, and my doctors say, in perhaps 4 or 5 years I probalby won't be walking any longer. My wife of 31 years is divorce me, first it was she had it with my back problems, but as usually happens the truth came out she is an adulteress. My company is pushing hard to get rid of me again, as business has been down. So I have a lot of stuff on the plate. I will be 60 on March 7 and things in front of me look very dark now. Oddly enough I was the eternally optimist until this divorce business started. Sorry to dumb on the forum, but I have no family, just my children and they are 24 and 26 and help me, but they aren't into the trauma of things that can happen to a person in their senior? years and the effect they now have, and the effect they woud have had 30 years ago. Both quite different. I hope this make sense, as I don't even know if I make sense anymore. I see a shrink everyweek, and it's coming along. But the shock of all this has been a strain on me physically and emotionally. to the point I don't know if I will ever be the same person I was 8 months ago. Alex your quite correct it is up to me. My children especially my son have really been good. But as you said I don;t expect them to take care of me for the rest of my life. I decided to go on short term disability with my company for 12 weeks. Perhaps getting that monkey off my back will help reduce some of the stress. After that I would go on LTD with my company and receive 66% of my last years wage, tax free, until I am 65. Then ss and medicare. But in Mass, my wife would have to provide me with health insurance for the rest or my life, as I am not insurable due to the back, something she didn't expect. Also my lawyer, who is known in New England as the late Johnny Cochran of divorce law, told me, I will probably get alimony instead of vice versa. I thing I have found out. Divorce Lawyers, no matter how good they are, are the bottom feeders of law, I hope I haven't insulted anyone, nothing personal to any divorce lawyers out there. But what I mean is they are only concerned with getting the couple divorced. Her adultery mean nothing, to them or the divorce court. I am the one who has to suffer along on this terrible thing. I can keep busy, as I teach college course at night and I write, and do what work I can on the 450SLC. But all in all I think if I were healthy, this divorce wouldn't have effected me so badly. Plus my "wife", in an attempt to get the attention away from her, tried her best to drive me "crazy" and convince my doctors I was "crazy." But that didn't work and her guilt is so bad she is trying to ruin my professional as well as personal reputation, but people know me and it isn't working. But the shock of 31 years of marriage and out of nowhere she does this, was very tough to handle, very tough. Thank you so much for the words of encouragement, and please do keep up the prayers. Again I am sorry I dumbed this on the forum, but as I said, I have no family and I dedicated the last 31 years to the health and welfare of my family, and now I have to dedicated my energey to my health and welfare. |
Oh dear, what can one say. Keep your chin up? How sad for Al.
Remember, his is only one side of the story.
| QUOTE (omnivorette @ Mar 14 2006, 03:24 PM) |
| Remember, his is only one side of the story. |
word
You don't need both sides, or to apportion blame, to appreciate that the poor chap is miserable.
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