Whatever you do, don't think up the head of the board of my building. A real meddling, by the rules type of broad. So I'd just parked the car with Jack in the back, when she pulls up in front of me. And proceeds to back into the drivers' seat door. And then, this part I love, she speeds away.
Hmmm.
She just crashed into my car...AND I know who she is. That is really stupid.
So I called the cops.
Full Version: The surrealism of everyday life
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QUOTE(Wilfrid @ May 31 2006, 02:02 PM) 
A sensible precaution, as I'm sure moles do something or other to protect themselves. At a big park recently, my five year old asked me "Do swans bite?" and a little later "Do geese bite?" I told her that it was best to assume any wild animal or bird bites. Most of them sure do.
Not only do geese bite, but they're nasty fuckers. Stay away, especially if goslings are nearby.
QUOTE(bloviatrix @ May 31 2006, 06:43 PM)
Not only do geese bite, but they're nasty fuckers. Stay away, especially if goslings are nearby.
Biting is putting it mildly- I would say it's more of an attack.
Swans, too. Pity it's illegal to catch and cook them. 
QUOTE(bloviatrix @ May 31 2006, 04:43 PM)
Not only do geese bite, but they're nasty fuckers. Stay away, especially if goslings are nearby.
nobody who's read p.g wodehouse would ever go near a goose or swan.
QUOTE(mongo_jones @ May 31 2006, 05:27 PM)
nobody who's read p.g wodehouse would ever go near a goose or swan.
Has anyone ever read Richard Brautigan's "Revenge of the Lawn"?
I am so out of it today that I just caught a bad mis-type luckily before it went into public record.
I meant to write:
emailed Irene
and instead wrote:
emailed the nice nurse
I am going to have to be REALLY careful for the rest of the day.
I meant to write:
emailed Irene
and instead wrote:
emailed the nice nurse
I am going to have to be REALLY careful for the rest of the day.
At least "nice nurse" isn't derogatory.
I just organized five years worth of flies!
said the anal retentive prostitute
Looked out my window this afternoon to see a small, crude parade go by. Led by a woman dancing in a white dress while sporting very high stilts, followed by a marching band, two rectangular floats, and a float depicting a large face. 
That was the opening parade for the River to River festival. It actually went past the block twice: once heading west on Beekman toward City Hall Park after coming up from Castle Clinton, then again heading east on Spruce toward the Seaport.
What I loved about it was that it was so New York -- more like a collection of artsy fartsies strolling together than a serious parade.
What I loved about it was that it was so New York -- more like a collection of artsy fartsies strolling together than a serious parade.
When I read Steve's post, the line about "one hand waving free" in "Hey, Mr. Tambourine Man" popped into my head.
The DHS has found no "national monuments or icons" in New York City. They allowed as how missing the Statue of Liberty was an "oversight".
And the Empire State Building is small potatoes, too.
QUOTE(Steven Dilley @ Jun 1 2006, 10:35 PM)
Looked out my window this afternoon to see a small, crude parade go by. Led by a woman dancing in a white dress while sporting very high stilts, followed by a marching band, two rectangular floats, and a float depicting a large face.
Maybe that explains the 2 women I saw walking down 9th Avenue last night, both in platinum, shoulder-length wigs, shades, Wonder Woman-looking outfits, and long model rockets around their waists, dangling between their legs.
Where on 9th were you? Because if you were in my neck of the woods those probably weren't women.
QUOTE(Steven Dilley @ May 31 2006, 12:35 AM)
Looked out my window this afternoon to see a small, crude parade go by. Led by a woman dancing in a white dress while sporting very high stilts, followed by a marching band, two rectangular floats, and a float depicting a large face.
Oh, is it Friday already?
The kid who reached over and snatched a Derek Jeter ball out of the mitt of the Orioles outfielder and ended the Orioles playoffs, is now, 10 years later, being scouted by them. No held grudges?...
Jeffrey Maier Scouted
Jeffrey Maier Scouted
At Union Square Park I saw a booth where you can "ASK A TRANNY A QUESTION."
Not related but equally surreal...
Moments later, I saw a yuppie wearing a shirt that said "DIE YUPPIE SCUM."
Not related but equally surreal...
Moments later, I saw a yuppie wearing a shirt that said "DIE YUPPIE SCUM."
QUOTE(Daisy @ Jun 2 2006, 10:55 AM)
Where on 9th were you? Because if you were in my neck of the woods those probably weren't women.
Around 21st Street, so I wouldn't be surprised. But they did look like real women, probably in their late 40s.
Experiencing the news as it happens division --
Sitting at home yesterday afternoon watching CNN as we hear the unmistakable roar of a fighter jet pass over our house. No cause for alarm as it is not an unusual event around our part of the DC area.
Literally no more than 30 seconds later, breaking news on CNN. Some dimwit in a Cessna violated restricted air space around DC and F-18s had been scrambled to identify and guide to a local airport.
Sitting at home yesterday afternoon watching CNN as we hear the unmistakable roar of a fighter jet pass over our house. No cause for alarm as it is not an unusual event around our part of the DC area.
Literally no more than 30 seconds later, breaking news on CNN. Some dimwit in a Cessna violated restricted air space around DC and F-18s had been scrambled to identify and guide to a local airport.
From the BBC South Asia:
Cambodian Troops Quarantine Quan'sul
There has been a small outbreak of “zombism” in a small town near the border of Laos in North-Eastern Cambodia.
The culprit was discovered to be mosquitoes native to that region carrying a new strain of Malaria which thus far has a 100 percent mortality rate and kills victims in fewer than 2 days.
After death, this parasite is able to restart the heart of its victim for up to two hours after the initial demise of the person where the individual behaves in extremely violent ways from what is believed to be a combination of brain damage and a chemical released into blood during “resurrection.”
Cambodian officials say that the outbreak has been contained and the public has no need to worry.
General Ary Serey had this to say, "We have obtained samples of this new parasite and plan to learn how it starts the heart and other major organs of the deceased. We intend to use this to increase the quality of life for all."
US Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice opposed the plan saying that the Cambodian government holds a great biological weapon and should destroy it immediately. Cambodian officials have yet to comment.
A United Nations team will be dispatched to Cambodia to confirm the safety of biological research in Cambodia.
Sweet! Zombies!
Cambodian Troops Quarantine Quan'sul
There has been a small outbreak of “zombism” in a small town near the border of Laos in North-Eastern Cambodia.
The culprit was discovered to be mosquitoes native to that region carrying a new strain of Malaria which thus far has a 100 percent mortality rate and kills victims in fewer than 2 days.
After death, this parasite is able to restart the heart of its victim for up to two hours after the initial demise of the person where the individual behaves in extremely violent ways from what is believed to be a combination of brain damage and a chemical released into blood during “resurrection.”
Cambodian officials say that the outbreak has been contained and the public has no need to worry.
General Ary Serey had this to say, "We have obtained samples of this new parasite and plan to learn how it starts the heart and other major organs of the deceased. We intend to use this to increase the quality of life for all."
US Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice opposed the plan saying that the Cambodian government holds a great biological weapon and should destroy it immediately. Cambodian officials have yet to comment.
A United Nations team will be dispatched to Cambodia to confirm the safety of biological research in Cambodia.
Sweet! Zombies!
Yes. That's not the BBC, is it?
Well, shit. Can't you guys just let me have my fantasy about an imminent killer zombie invasion? I don't want to have to go to work tonight.
QUOTE(NeroW @ Jun 6 2006, 09:33 AM)
Well, shit. Can't you guys just let me have my fantasy about an imminent killer zombie invasion? I don't want to have to go to work tonight.
Maybe the dog will eat your homework.
walked by the meow-mix-house today. on madison, i think, in the 40s. it's not set up yet but the windows are covered with signs.
From the Restaurants & Institutions email newsletter:
QUOTE
Chef Thomas Keller of Per Se to Open Burger Joint
There probably won't be milkshakes at Thomas Keller's planned burger restaurant, but there will be bottles of wine--in fact, that's the tentative name: Burgers and Bottles. The man behind California's renowned French Laundry and New York City's pricey Per Se, says: "It's something I've always wanted to do. It'll be my version of In-N-Out. I'm an American; I grew up eating hamburgers just like everybody else."
There probably won't be milkshakes at Thomas Keller's planned burger restaurant, but there will be bottles of wine--in fact, that's the tentative name: Burgers and Bottles. The man behind California's renowned French Laundry and New York City's pricey Per Se, says: "It's something I've always wanted to do. It'll be my version of In-N-Out. I'm an American; I grew up eating hamburgers just like everybody else."
QUOTE(Cathy @ Jun 7 2006, 01:44 PM)
From the Restaurants & Institutions email newsletter:
I was close.
Logan's father just asked me how much I would charge to do a website for his hip-hop band. I said I couldn't do it, I do stuff that's old-fashioned, tasteful, elegant.
"You're saying we're not tasteful and elegant?"
Yes, you with the seven-inch tattoo of your dead mother's name across your neck, Mr. Pants-Around-Your-Kneecaps, Mr. Mohawk-and-Cigarettes, I'm saying that. Put that in your Raider Nation and smoke it.
"You're saying we're not tasteful and elegant?"
Yes, you with the seven-inch tattoo of your dead mother's name across your neck, Mr. Pants-Around-Your-Kneecaps, Mr. Mohawk-and-Cigarettes, I'm saying that. Put that in your Raider Nation and smoke it.
i saw the word "shakespeare" and the image that went through my head was "sheep shear".
A group of Englishmen in morning suits going into an Irish bar on 3rd Avenue at 10 this morning.
Seems like a perfectly normal time to me, if the Brits on this board are anything to go by.
QUOTE(g.johnson @ Jun 12 2006, 10:58 AM)
A group of Englishmen in morning suits going into an Irish bar on 3rd Avenue at 10 this morning.
Football?
Pre-wedding football? Hence the morning suits.
QUOTE(Daisy @ Jun 12 2006, 01:03 PM)
Pre-wedding football? Hence the morning suits.
I think you've got it. They were followed at a distance by a group of ladies in chiffon.
Just picked up a copy of Conversations, a series of interviews with Andre Breton.
Surrealism. Proper surrealism.
Surrealism. Proper surrealism.
Tempting. Would need a lot of staff, though.
Pittsburgh QB Ben Rothlisberger, whose contract is worth about a jillion dollars, was just in a serious motorcycle accident: broken jaw, lost his teeth, and knee damage, among other things.
NOT WEARING A HELMET.
NOT WEARING A HELMET.
QUOTE(Wilfrid @ Jun 12 2006, 04:18 PM)
I shall tell Rosalía. She is asturian (from the "real" Spain the rest is "conquered" land) but I think she would not mind Cataluña at all.
QUOTE(Wilfrid @ Jun 12 2006, 04:18 PM)
Floor area: 4,000,000 sq. ft.
You'd have to buy a bigger hoover too.
QUOTE(tanabutler @ Jun 12 2006, 04:25 PM)
Pittsburgh QB Ben Rothlisberger, whose contract is worth about a jillion dollars, was just in a serious motorcycle accident
The spare parts will go for a premium.
QUOTE(Wilfrid @ Jun 12 2006, 04:18 PM)
Sorry, pal, this lets you out:
QUOTE
The Castle of “Santa Florentina”is one of the exclusive locations for activities of higher classes of Barcelona.
Gee I wonder what they get up to. 120 Days of Wilfrid - there's a thought.
Walking along the street, I pass a man talking on his phone just in time to hear him say in a pleased tone of voice, "And she said I can use the dungeon any time I like".
Small world: She has no doubt put in a bid for that Spanish castle.
A man in California was convinced there was gold in his yard so he dug a 60 foot deep unreinforced hole in his yard before the authorities stopped him. Insane! AP story linked below
Gold Digger article
Gold Digger article
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