One very red-faced member of staff at work due to a typo in the weekly worksheet for a kids party:

Did any other Londoners get a carrot in the post this morning?

v

Holy Madalyn Murray O'Hair......
http://www.toledoblade.com/apps/pbcs.dll/a...EWS18/412150341

So he never thinks straight
'Bout the shape that he's in
But it ain't him to blame
He's only a pawn in their game

Took the dog out for her stroll this morning in the freezing darkness and discovered that a building in the next block was ablaze. The fire department eventually arrived and put quite a lot of water on it. Whatever wasn't burned was drowned. About the time it was all over, the cops came flying up to the scene in their cruisers and started yelling at everyone.

Turkey schnitzel.



Why?

That's nothing.



Turkey twizzlers.

Evil is among us and its name is turkey.

Compiling a training manual for the whizzer new Tire Pressure Monitoring System (TPMS), in which each tire on a vehicle is fitted with a sensor that transmits a signal indicating low pressure or a flat tire. There are warning indicators in the Instrument Panel to alert the driver to a low pressure scenario. This very helpful note is included in the source info: If the vehicle is not fitted with the TPMS, the warning indicators will not illuminate at any time.



Luckily, it's part of my job to edit out this sort of crap – which abounds.

At my local groceria, a lovely batard from Rock Hill Bakehouse had been hand-mislabeled by one of the staff: Rock Hill Bastard.

Yeah. Gimme one a them Rock Hill Bastards.

Ah never mind, I get it.

v

A sign: 'Warning: further signage should be obeyed'

v

I just opened a letter from an attorney whose surname is "Bilk".

The Metro paper had a nice listing of top UK websites from Yahoo the other day. I'll point this onein particular for Lippy.

And this morning the following:

My sister's firm is being sued by a client whose name is Makepeace.

Pigeon sitting comfortably on top of one of those fake owls, looking down as TV delivery man drop it on the road. "It didn't break, just a little bent, don't you want to take it anyway?"

Note on the fire extinguisher:

Content aside, that's a compellingly beautiful photograph.

Timeless classic

Hilarious

I saw a truck today with this written on it:

Aydogdu

(and then a company address)

This morning a large pile of dog shit in the street that someone has evidently stepped in. Next to it a neat piece of card with lettering in 2 shades of marker pen: 'To whom it may concern' (red) 'Please do not permit your dog to foul the pavement' (blue).

v

Last night I ordered a pizza from Spinelli's.

When it arrived a passage was handwritten on top of the box in black marker that stated as follows:


"Drugs are a bet with your mind" -Jim Morrison. Spinelli's is a sure thing.

You won't see that from Domino's.

Annie's Organic Mac n Cheese is far inferior to Kraft Mac n Cheese.

This on 'woods "alien" thread link.

This, after CCing my Florida arangements to my own MSN inbox and finding it in my junkm ail folder.

The Rams apparently have 11 wraiths playing defense.

In Iran, gay frottage is punishable by 100 lashes. If the frottagee, however, is non-Muslim, the sentence is death.

Passing some local firemen buying groceries in the supermarket last night and noticing a strong smoky smell coming from them; oddly, it reminded me of smoked mozzarella.

So...why DOES the guy with the bottle have a fork through his tongue?

Also, what's with the tabasco bottle apparently shoved through his left Supraorbital Foramen? Did he belittle a violent, roving gang of barbeque cooks? Me, I would have stolen his booze once the ritual mutilation was over.

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