finally, a use for your sedan chair.

Not surrealism of everyday life. Just during a full moon. Am I the only one feeling really crazy today? Detached? Like the tides have risen within my cellular slosh. It's as if everything around me has changed and left me behind. Everyone on this morning's TV shows were yelling and talking 90 mph and saying nothing of consequence. I even kind of missed the smart aleck wit of Bernard McGuirk and Don Imus this morning. Is there no intelligent life left? With what does Rancho Gordo fertilize his Mother Stallard's beans? And there are gopher holes all over the front lawn where none have been before.

not just a full moon, but a scorpio fuelled full moon. the only way to deal with it is to strip and dance naked in the garden under the full moon.

How completely lacking in self-awareness some people are. It's beyond ironic.

Hmmm....Full moon huh.....well, that explains why I was contacted by a former flame who moved to Costa Rica and is now back in town. Our first date was on a full moon and since then we always connect on a full moon.

no shit.

"I have to tell you! I just got back from North Africa and I love Berbers!"

I'm sure she was referring to the really nice rugs your people make.

"I was, like, oh my god, they're so nice! Who knew?!"

Do you and Daisy share this former flame in common?

i just reported my first post. and then almost immediately i reported my second post. i feel like i've just learned to swim. good news, admins! you can expect more from me every hour!

I almost reported a post in which a moron referred to a religious sect as 'Shit' only to realize that that post screams louder than any epithet I could hurl at this moron what a moron this moron is.

My 4 year old has a girlfriend.

This was inevitable. What girl can resist a boy who quotes Sir-Mix-a-lot?

Headline on my IPS home page:

Leo, Rosie Make Time's Most Influential.

I could only think, "Wow, I ddn't know that Ted Leo & The Pharmacists had gotten that big."

I tried to fiigure out who else they could be talking about but drew a blank.

Whom do you think of when you hear "Leo"? No Googling now.

I actually think of Ted Leo first too, but it's probably DiCaprio.

Edit: please tell me it's not Leo Strauss!

The small but very nice office gym has two small locker rooms right outside it and I can hear although not see people in the hallway they all open off. A coworker is in the women's locker room showering right now, and she has left the door ajar and is carrying on a conversation, voices raised of course, with a male coworker who is hanging out in the hall.

I wonder how much more casual this place can get?

Pantsless Fridays?

Yep. When did "Leo" happen? I am so out of it.

I saw her today. Confirmed by the teacher that they like eachother and are quite close. She's older, in pre-K.

Why, oh why, do people have open casket funerals? Is it just me? I'd much rather remember someone they way they were when they were alive, than with the way they appear in the casket .

Going to an open casket funeral last fall made a tough funeral much worse for my family. I strongly prefer closed casket with pictures.

Watching a city worker calmly and tirelessly sweeping up the cherry blossom around Tompkins Square Park - while the wind continued to blow, and the blossom continued to shower about his head.

Dedication.

Sounds like he was high.

especially if he was indeed sweeping up one cherry blossom.

"Blossom" often refers to the mass of small flowers rather than just to one individual flower, as in Shakespeare's under the blossom that hangs on the bough; but I see I also used "blossoms" in the same post, arguably infelicitously.

Thanks for drawing it to my attention.

are you well?

I love it when Wilfrid delivers a smack-down with Shakespeare in it.

i was not in any case suggesting a grammatical error--it would be equally surreal an image if the city worker were sweeping up one blossom in either sense of the word. but since things have taken a grammatical turn, shouldn't there be an article associated with "blossom" even in the shakespearean collective sense?

I know a substantive point when I see one, and I have revised my post accordingly.

(For "I" read "i".)

As it happens, you're both wrong. What fruit trees shed are the petals of the blossoms, not the blossoms themselves. Fools.

"fool" is hindi and bengali for "flower".

Stella Tenant is a model.

What is the word for "blossom"?

Stella Artois is a beer. As is Tennent's.

Sitting at the end of my row at the James Beard awards last night: Salman Rushdie.

It's not surreal because her name is Stella Tenant. It's surreal because she's so unattractive yet she's a "supermodel."

Oh, ghastly...

Have you seen the new Gap ads? Not only does she look like a horse, but she looks like a male horse.

No, but looking for it I found one with Claire Danes instead.

You Tube

Jacques Pépin is coming to my school and I just found out that he was born about 20 miles away from my where I grew up. Small world. He's the 3rd or 4th French chef visiting the school that is from Lyon or very close to it.

You simply cannot make up this stuff. Tip to spies: if you want to plant a wiretapped coin on someone, make sure it doesn't have a bright red flower on it.

The anchor on our local morning news show, Pat Kiernan, is Canadian - and he had a lot of fun with that story.

My sister was looking to buy a bike from Craigslist. She read an ad for a pink Schwinn, and it sounded good--right price, and you can never go wrong with pink. She contacted the seller, who turned out to be my landlord, and the pink Schwinn one of the bikes in our basement, which she has admired before. Now it's hers.

May I quote you on that?

You just did.

I emailed a friend suggesting that we "grab lunch" soon and I got this reply:



This "meeting"???? WTF? Most of my friends self calendar and do not have assistants; this just seems silly.

I'm actually Rancho Gordo's assistant, Pierpont. I do all Mr Gordo's scheduling and when he's busy, I read him the entries on MF and he shouts back through his speakerphone what I am to type. Now I don't even bother and just reply as him, pretty much knowing his agenda.

1. Repeat stories endlessly, pretending you have never told them before
2. Become humorless when discussing ag and food politics
3. Sell the g.d. beans!

It's not brain surgery or as if I'm doing this for Mongo Jones. Now that would be a challenge.
Nice to meet you,
P. for RG

I used to know a guy with ADD who seemed quite smug when he hired an assistant to "do" things for him. God knows he needed the help, but I think the problem was he hired someone as flakey as himself.

So your friend read his email and forwarded it to his assistant. How bizarre. Is he very important or something?