two courtesy a young grocery clerk today:

first, he holds up the avocados and asks, "what are these?". a minute later i have to identify squash for him, and then when he can't find it in his code-sheet, he asks, "it's not a fruit, is it?"

i bought a pint of half and half from the corner store and the clerk put it in a bag for me with a napkin and straw.

That's absurd. You won't need a napkin if you use the straw.

Actually, squash IS a fruit. It has seeds.

But what about the "avocado squash" I bought a week ago?

i should have stayed and explained that to him in great detail.

Viva Viagra.

Technically, avocado is a fruit, too.

no, avocado is a meat.

Indeed, and a mammal.

don't be silly now--it's egg shaped. therefore it is a squid.

Yes, but squid suckle their young, don't they? They do have udders afterall.

I'm beginning to suspect this about the one currently on my kitchen counter.

16 out of 17 students in one of my classes are female, and 15 of them are named megan.

How many are MEE-gahns and how many mehg-ANS?

Maybe there are just 3 students and one of them, Megan, signed up 15 times.

Not like 20 years ago when they were roaming the ocean floor unmolested by hungry diners.

Makes it easy to match names and faces. How many last names? Gotta love that sex ratio though, what class is it?

You have quite a crowd of groupies, there. How many different spellings? My daughter got slapped with a last name: Meighan.

it is a class on modern indian fiction. only 4 of them are megans, actually. but three sat next to each other.

Oh please, we must know: what is the guy's name?

Most of the girls in the Munchkin's second grade class have sort of interchangeable names. Shayna, Shayla, Shaylin, Cheyenne, Kaylin, Kayla, Kaitlin. Not planning to memorize any of 'em.

Are they ex-girl friends of Hef? Is hyperbole a mainstay of Indian fiction?

And megans eat what, exactly?

(ba dum)

Yesterday, I was standing in front of the NYPL waiting to cross the street when a man approached and stopped at the wastebasket sitting next to me. He rifled through the top, picked up a McDonald's cup, and started sucking through the straw. He then shook the matching McDonald's paper bags, which yielded nothing, and he walked off with the cup happily sucking away. He wasn't a homeless person as far as I could tell -- he had headphones hanging from his neck.

I consider myself a hardened city person but I was astonished.

He has his priorities.

My first thought was, he should have flipped the lid and drank from the 'clean' rim rather than suck through a used straw.

I thought about it on the subway ride home. I decided that maybe I'm not such a hardened city person after all. Such things still manage to surprise me.

ahhhhh. The next generation of Heathers. Does the guy in class look like Christian Slater?

megan

What is going on here?!

It's as crazy as this. In 24 hours. It's like they're not stopping to eat, sleep or pee.

Hint: Save yourself an afternoon and don't bother with the Katz, Ssam Bar, Pizza or NY Dining Experience threads. Totally pointless.

Names seem to run in packs.

My niece Erryn's class had girls named Erin, Errin, Aran, and one other variation. A boy named Eric and another named Auric (probably from Goldfinger). No Orik, though.

The hospital smoking section is outside Emerg right next to the elevator to the morgue. When I came in this morning, there were two vans unloading bodies and 4 people sitting beside the elevators smoking.

After several long pointless threads with Nathan basically calling all the participants 'morons' and 'imbeciles', illiterates with 'bad reading comprehension', those same people are now falling all over themselves to help Nathan get to Peter Luger (where he says he doesn't particularly want to go) and volunteering to go with him.

Bravo, Nathan. Well-played.

Soon they will be lining up and fighting each other to give you blow jobs.

Wilf's Mapquest link was particularly helpful, I'm sure.

See Stone's avatar for a possible reason.

You fonny, Dr. J.

Running into (and I do mean physically running into) Keanu Reeves at the Highlands Bar and Grill in Birmingham, AL.

Note Keanu- Shave the beard, Dude.

Sat two rows behind Edmund Stoiber (former party chairman of the CSU) at a football game today. Willy Sagnol (3 time world cup on French National team) is a serious cutie in person, by the way.

He's one of those freegans, right?

None of the people I spoke to/bought from at two greenmarkets today - many of whom have known me for years - saw fit to point out that I had a big honking clip in my hair.

Please to define "big honking clip". Thank yew.

You know, one of these ever-so-attractive things - in a timeless, goes-with-everything aluminum finish.

Well, darling, I wouldn't be surprised to see one of those in a farmer's bonnet so they most likely weren't surprised to see it in yours. And, it obviously did nothing to mar your beauty.

At least you didn't have a skirt tucked into pantyhose.

I saw a seriously disabled kid in a wheelchair today. He had chrome spinners.

Just for you baby.
Seriously.
Pimp my ride

The Rascal has replaced the wheelchair as the go to getaround for our local downtown residents. I recently saw a finely dressed man in his best Stacy Adams styling in his Rascal with a boom box at his feet blasting out the Stylistics. He drove the mofo like he was driving a '72 Caddy CDV, low and slow baby up Main Street one fine Sunday Morning. Needless to say, I was suitably impressed.

Those suits are beyond great! What are they? Pimp my pimp? CDV indeed!

Stacy Adams
The Finest.
A stylish man like you needs some of this gear Holly. Where do you think all those City Hall big wigs shop?
(psst. Los Angeles Street)

Yo killin me, Mama.

Everybody wants to be a hero.